romulusthread:

MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING

(via beachbum05)

4 hours ago  /  46,401 notes  /  Source: romulusthread

mylastwordsbeforeidie:

Thanks for being in my childhood

Thanks for being in my preteen / teen years

Thanks for being in the last years of my adolescence and early in my adulthood.

But most of all, thanks for being my superheroes.

(via feymark)

7 hours ago  /  1,772 notes  /  Source: mylastwordsbeforeidie

This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.

castielofasgard:

(via pizza-b0ness)

8 hours ago  /  107,758 notes  /  Source: castielofasgard

unclefather:

unclefather:

at my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal that i am not inside. instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the background.

nevermind, my mom says i can’t do that.

(via yesthisisoprah)

8 hours ago  /  208,102 notes  /  Source: chickensandwich

slendalek:

disneyprincest:

i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again 

or when they go and tell the rest of the fucking family and everyone laughs at you when you go to a family party

(via yesthisisoprah)

8 hours ago  /  55,428 notes  /  Source: disneyprincest